May 23, 2011

Mary's Sci-Fi Adventures on Planet Earth: Alien Invasion

So, two weeks ago today I woke up with an itchy arm. There was a bump. Something had bit me. :-O I have no idea what. Since I have skin issues, I keep cortizone cream on hand. So, I put some on.

Husband later that night: What's that on your arm?

Me: Some bug bit me.

He throws some neosporin on it. "Doesn't look like a spider bite."

Good Husband. Doesn't want to freak me out. The only thing I hate as much as spiders is zombies. Ugh! A zombie spider would be really horrible.

Cut to Tuesday night. I put lotion on my elbows and notice a huge, red splotch on my arm where the bug bit me. It's hot and swollen. I can't really see it, so go ask husband, "What the heck is that?"

Husband: Get dressed, we're going to the emergency room.

Me: :-O

ER Doctor: It could be a spider bite.

Me: :-O

Husband: No, it's not a spider bite.

Good Husband.

So, the ER ends up giving me some Benedryl and antibiotics.

Cut to Thursday. Family on East Coast says: Did they test you for Lyme's disease?

Me: No.  -- I then Google photos of Lymes. :-O So, then I make a doctor's appointment to get tested.

I spend a week doped up on Benedryl then just can't take it any more. Despite how dopey it makes me, I don't sleep well on that stuff. Stop! Stop the Benedryl madness! :-O

Cut to Monday morning, one week later. The splotch is starting to itch. It's still bright red. The doctor tells me the test gives a lot of false positives and that lyme's isn't so common around here. Also, the antibiotics the hospital perscribed aren't strong enough to do anything if it is lymes.

Me: :-O

They give me a tetanus shot and the lyme's test. I await the results. :-O

Cut to Tuesday. Injection site is bright red and itchy. So I have two itchy, splotchy arms -- one more sore than the other. The one that got the shot.

Cut to Wednesday. Arm drama makes carpal tunnel flare up. :-O More on the bug bitten arm than the other. Probably from twisting it around to try and get a good look at the mysterious red splotch.

No one knows what's wrong with my arm. My conclusion using Spock's logic of that which seems improbable if not proven false is then probably true [well, something like that]: I've been invaded by aliens.

Moral of the story: Do NOT get bitten by mysterious bugs [which are NOT spiders] to which you are allergic to.

Yeah, yeah, go ahead and find my two weeks of bug terror amusing.